Tuesday, 26 July 2016

THE ARSON

In your English literature classes, I believe you did poetry and you can vividly remember this poem by Yussuf Kassam (the brewing night). Its 6:30pm, after a long day at work, racing, battling, chanting and sometimes exchanging blows with my psychiatry patients, I switch on my TV set. "On top of the hour.." The news man starts with streams of smoke and tongues of extinguishing fires filling up the screen..."Another three dormitories set a blaze as the ministry and education stakeholders try to find a solution to the growing cases of the crime of arson" The blood dimmed tide has been loosened in our schools, the centre cannot hold, things have fallen apart and the falcon cannot hear the falconer.
I take a walk down the memory lane and with tears a recal my late friend and classmate, John. It was long past midnight, that night sleep deserted me, mocked at me and tantalized me, so I lay awake, sharp in all my senses. There was dead silence and solitude such that the entire universe seemed to stagnate in deep dreary dead slumber. The village babies no longer cried, the barking dogs were asleep and only the chiming of the clock could be heard from a distance. 
No sooner had I thought that the silence and solitude was eternal than waves of bubbling and muttering began to trickle through the school compound. Hurried footsteps echoed through the corridors and from a distance I could hear the roaring of a heavy truck. I pulled down my curtain and there I saw it all. The first dormitory in our lovely school was on fire, but in my Dom, all were asleep, deep in slumber not aware of the drama outside. I jumped from my bed and shouted "Fire!!!!!..." Ooooh no, that's not the way it is done, a stampede ensure and people started running up and about in the narrow spaces between the dormitory cubes. My colleagues sustained injuries as each one tried to find their way out for safety. My friend John, jumped off his bed on the double decor and fell overhead.
We ran to the assembly ground where everyone was assembled, looking scared and shocked.
John was bleeding profusely and he was almost going into shock. We had to intervene amidst the tension and uncertainty. All the teachers had escaped with their families and so there was none to attend to us. The student's clinic too was nonoperational coz the medics too escaped. The school bus grounded, oooh no! The driver too had escaped. Hell man, where is our help going to come from. Luckily, the fire men had arrived and they had an ambulance. Off we set for the hospital, but outside, idle onlookers filled the road and this had created some traffic snarlup and not even the sirens could help us out. Slowly we worked our way through the human traffic. With full speed, the ambulance went but just about 1Km from the hospital, the driver had to get to the emergency brakes to save the life of a helpless drunk man trying to cross the road. The emergency breaks was so strong that it led to the snapping of something (I don't know what) under the ambulance. Which means it could move no more. 'Siku ya nyani kufa, miti zote huteleza'. We were forced to curry John, who had fainted at the time.
Finally we arrived at the hospital, but noooo...the emergency department was under Lock and key, reason? The medics were on strike, they had not be paid by the government. We lost john, we saw him die, he died on our hands. John died a premature death. John was the only son, no, the only child to his widowed mother. He was no more. I hear of arson and the news of schools being torched and I burn with grief. Please let's all come together and find a solution for our schools. Blame game may be a sweet thing now, blame the parents for poorly bringing up their children, blame the ministry for setting up strict rules, blame the teachers, blame the cooks, blame everyone but our school will continue to burn. Close down the schools Matiang'i and let's find a solution while these boys and girls are at home. Atleast I'm sure they will not burn down their bedrooms back at home. We lost John, we saw him die, he died on out hand. Let's stop this arson thing.

Sunday, 28 February 2016

A LETTER TO MY FUTURE WIFE

I have lived in this world, I have learnt to work hard, to work smart, to do my best and leave the rest to God. I concentrate on my life each day like a player in chess then beat up may chest that I am the best. I run the race knowing that I'm blessed.
The Lord has given me the key to unlock the unseen and the tips to understand the meaning of this life I'm living, this hill I'm climbing and this weight I'm lifting. The way is so rough and the path is so dusty, but I will nor give up.
Meanwhile leave that  aside. It is just another one of those days when I have to stand on the bridge of emotions and dive into the sea of solitude. I move close towards a table in my room, a specious and comfortable room, but it gets claustrophobic whenever I think of you. I pull a chair away, sit, then I stare at space thinking about you, the most beautiful and perfect gift for me.
Then I take my time to let my pen dance on paper and later on engage my mind in the task of memorizing each and every line hoping that somehow, someday, these words will reach your ears.
I know I'm writing to someone I have not met, but I'm sure I've met you several times in my dreams and all the times that I lay brick after brick building castles in the air.
I'm writing to you my love, my future wife, my missing rib that I'm in the maze running up and down trying to find the lady that my Daddy, my Creator has destined to be my partner.
Where are you? I've been up and down trying to find you. Can't you see my dusty feet? Can't you note the smell of my sweat?
I belief you must be hiding somewhere safe, I guess you are hidden in Christ.
I just want you to know and embrace the fact that I am out here keeping my self pure for you dear, working twice as hard as the ants to add value to my life so that you will always jerk your head up to stop your beautiful hair from blocking your sight and then brag to your friends of how great your husband is.
I also want you to know baby, that I am in safe hands, I've surrounded myself with a group of spiritual mentors that God uses to prepare me for you.
I don't know where you are, I don't know what you are doing, but I know that I want you to know that I'm praying for you. It's been a routine now, everyday I humble myself before God, asking him to bless you wherever you are.
I pray you be my Proverbs 31 woman and make the man in me rise above the stars. My Esther, to be the queen of my world and save my generation from forceful oppression. My Elizabeth, to carry the promise that will prepare the way for the success of my life. My Rehab, who risked her life to hide the spies sent to Jericho by Joshua, sweetheart, I know you will risk your life for me.
I love you, trust me I do even if I know you not. But I know that I love what God has prepared for me for He says He has good plans for me, plans to prosper me and never to destroy me.
So many challenges pop up on my way to meeting you, so many distractions by the devil who is trying to make me stop waiting for God to bring us together.
So many girls, half naked even when the weather is ice cold, how I pray that pneumonia should fall heavily on them. They aim to attract my eyes and then distract my mind and rob me of the beauty of having you princess.
I understand that I have to remain true to the word of God and I thank him coz so far so good I have been able to flash a red card to all their dirty schemes.
I will wait for you and I make a plea to you my lady, hold on and wait for me too.
I dream of how we will sing and then I will blink as you wink when we go shopping for rings.
You have even made me to go ahead and define the word love, letter 'L' stands for the Length of time I will think of you, it will stretch from the east to the west. Letter 'O' stands for the Oasis of love in the desert of apathy, an oasis that holds trust and care where my love for you will grow. Letter 'V' stands for the Velvet curtain that I will draw each morning to invite the rays of love into our home. And letter 'E' stands for the endless memories we will make out of lives starting from the time we walk down the isle as we say "I DO".
Every morning I stand in the shower in front of my bathroom mirror and use my index finger to write on the mirror the words, I Hope I will Meet You Soon....

Yours in Love
Ouko Jnr

Friday, 5 February 2016

REALTY CHECK

It is February, a month that is famously known for its color-red of course, euphoria about love and relationships and the hullabaloo of wallowing in the limbo of single-hood. I don't like this month for one reason, a reason a few of my friend know and can identify with. Anyway, I was not meant to talk about February, but instead who I am, where I am and what I'm doing in February. It is the 5th day of this lovely month, exactly two months after the academic board and the chancellor of the mighty university of Nairobi granted me the power to go and read. This day, reality has hit me so hard. I just realized I am no longer a comrade but a citizen, no longer a student but a scholar, no longer a learner but a professional. Sure, it is real. It is actually real that campus life ended and now I have to start acting like a man is suppose to. I realized this bitter truth when I received a mail, addressing me with the initial prefix-Dr., which in my mother tongue it is simply said as daktari/laktar.  And just as a reminder, the name 'daktari' was given to me when I was born, so briefly, it has nothing to do with my career, but alas, I am actually a 'daktari' by training, as the lay men would always refer to me when in actual sense I'm actually a 'muuguzi'. Sorry, I was talking about a mail, a mail that was inviting me to a funds drive/fund raising/harambee in aid of the school fees for the son to a friend of the neighbor to a  member of my father's home church. This mail reminded me that in actual truth, I am now a 'daktari'


Forget the mail. I take a flash back at my life as a comrade, an not just a comrade by a bone-fide' comrade of THE University of Nairobi (note the article 'THE'). Its the only university where a comrade is always right, and if he/she is wrong, then it can only be under the influence of some super natural power other than the Holy Spirit. During my life in the UoN, electricity, water and DSTV services were not privileges but demands. It is during this time that I realized that power faults or transformer break downs can actually be fixed in ten minutes instead of ten days as I see in the estates. Burst water pipes can actually be fixed in 10 minutes and opposed to 10 weeks as I seen in the estates. It was actually an abomination for the management to fail to pay for the DSTV subscription before the weekends set in because it was compulsory for comrades to watch the English premier league, in short, comrades must enjoy. What a pity for the custodian on duty over the weekend if the match cannot be watch from the TV room. Demonstrations and riots were no longer news to me, in fact I enjoyed them so much. I learned that Uhuru Highway was actually built on the lands of the comrades and the University Way is only meant for the comrades and cars are actually suppose to stop and wait for comrades to cross. It is funny to know that the University way actually has no zebra crossings because comrades are allowed to cross at any point. Life was awesome. We cooked with the coil, despite the bold rule that cooking is not allowed in the university hostels.We were taken to class with the school bus, a bus that must be there on time or else, the entire management will have to answer questions. We demanded quality food in the Mess, and we would not go for anything less. In short, everything was served on demand.

The campus life suddenly came to an end and now I have to suffer the withdrawal symptoms. I tried cooking with the coil in my new house, that is when I knew 'okoa stima' and 'okoa jahazi' are actually sisters. When I cross the road I actually have to look left and right and left again then cross. I'm actually suppose to pay for DSTV and I can not watch the Man United game when I feel like. Here there is no wifi, I have to buy bundles, haki wale watu wa Bundles Mwitu wako wapi? I can no longer shout or run around when there is a black out, Kenya power will bring back power when they want to. I am actually suppose to pay bus fare everyday when going to work and back. I finally realized that the "L" in HELB actually represents a Loan and I am suppose to pay it back. I realizes that I was an Investment of the society and now its time for me to start giving back to the same society, a society that I never saw paying my school fees, a society that I never saw when I was almost dying from hunger in campus, a society that never new that I actually depended on 10 shillings a day in campus, yes a society that now demands that I give back what it gave to me. But I have to give back in the the end. Yes, I am now in the society, REALITY FINALLY CHECKS IN.

Monday, 16 November 2015

Shedding the Crystal Tears

5 years in the School of Nursing, years of great drama years of pure madness, years of struggle, hustle and bustle. We joined this noble college as the cream de la cream, the best of the best, the top of the society. They called us ‘daktari’ but I wish they knew what we go through to get to this level where we are now? It all started with a new life, a new set of people. I came to the city, I, a village ambassador, with me I carried a sack of maize, a smaller sack of beans and of cause a bag of potatoes. Life in Nairobi is expensive they said. On that day my parents sent me to the city, they rallied a facial expression of over astonishment with exceeding excitement and robust of energy comparing not to the tranquility of the swaying banana leaves. Mum said, this is from God, by God and of God. The whole village organized a send off ceremony, a ceremony befitting a delegate, a representative of the village in the university, the village hero. Anyway, to cut the long story short, we joined the university and that is where the rain started beating us. What happened? You really want to know? 

First it was the admission day, confusion was palpable in the air. I met people from everywhere, speaking all languages, from all walks of life as they say. It was the first time I was meeting people who talked in languages I did no understand. We were given orientation, an orientation befitting a confused first year. What was funny was that we were oriented by so many groups of people who were telling us many different things at the same time and yet expecting us to understand all of it. What was meant to give us direction in our new home turned out to be even a greater source of confusion. Fortunately, we went through this and came out alive. The classes started, and first it was anatomy. Imagine being taken trough benches filled with cadavers and you are told you will be with them for the next 44 weeks! We had mixed reactions, but we came out alive. I remember this professor who really harassed us, first he asked me, where the posterior nucal line was, where the hell did I know this Prof? Then he asked about the brachial plexus, which to me sounded like breki ya lexus...poor boy. Prof looked at me and said sympathetically, "now let me tell you something, common things occur commonly and that is why when you see a spotted animal outside the anatomy lab, it is most likely to be a cat and not a leopard." Then he asks another lady the number of  cervical vertebra  in the neck of a human being, which she surprisingly answers correctly only to be asked the number of cervical vertebra are in a giraffe...really Prof!

The program and schedules were hectic; the fat egos of once known academic giants were depleted. All over sudden, it was possible to score low marks, marks that were of equivalence to Kenya shillings that could not purchase half a loaf, marks that were below sea level. The tide had changed and the waves were now rolling just to the bare minimum. The year ended, the results came and we had passed, no, we had satisfied that board of examiners. I know we only had a fifty, but do I say. Then we got to the second year, the worst year of my academic life. First I just wonder why we had to stay in Main campus and have our classes in KNH. We fought each morning for the school bus. Just imagine a 62 seatter bus currying over 200 students...this bus was never full until it was full. Imagine waking up at 7:28AM and the bus is leaving at 7:30...but funny enough within 2 minutes we were able to take breakfast, take a shower, clean up yourself and tidy up the room and catch the bus. We performed miracles I tell you. The second year was worse than the whole of primary and secondary school combined. imagine doing pharmacology, where you are expected to know 10,000 plus drugs with their generic and trade names, their history, mechanism of action, pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics, adverse effects, drug interactions and their contraindications. And if you thought it was a joke, they would bring all this in an exam. Then Microbiology...where on earth did microorganisms come from? I remember the spot exam, the horror movie series of one minute episode...wah!, we came out alive. 

In 3rd year, we had learnt to survive, we developed some thick skin. We had deepened friendship and enjoyed fellowship. Some of us started enjoying some essential needs and others started having a friend, note, not any other friend, but that one special friend, that single one. In medical schools, we do zero grazing they said. People started coming to class in pairs. Third year and fourth year were not so much drama compared to second year. one thing that made us blow up our heads in the fourth year was this research thing...who said we must do research who? but eventually survived and came out alive. we are now shedding tears of joy, after successfully satisfying a series of 4 boards of examiners, of 44 weeks episode. the 8-4-4 has come to an end. what next now? 

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

FEBRUARY....THE MONTH OF LOVE

Love is in the air, and everybody is speaking about it. I hear friends complain that true love doesn't exist but i'm left to wonder what all this bustle and hustle is for. Red is the color, chocolates are running out of stoke in supermarket shelves, red roses are undergoing rapid deforestation but just for this month. my TV screen is all red, all adverts must have an element of love attached to it. Every advert I hear over the radio must start with the cliche' "this month of love...." Really, can you now convince me that true love does not exist?, that's a lie.
       Love is a long story, but its after I loved and lost that that I learnt to respect the strength of a woman. King Edward of the Khoi-san kingdom gave up his kingdom in Cape Town during the colonial times and walked on foot up to Alexandria in Egypt all in the name of love.William Shakespeare lived all his life by just writing about this thing love. Samson Manoa, the strongest man to have ever existed was brought down by a woman all because of love. David the son of Jesse, the forefather of Jesus Christ, a King of Israel-a God chosen nation, a man after God's own heart (so says Paul in The Acts of Apostles), was brought down by a woman, all in the name of love.
      What is love, I ask? Read through the Muslim Quaran, there are 15 suras that speak about this love (hubb-7 times, mawadda-5 times and interpretive inserts-3 times). In the Hindu Gittur, read through the dramatization of the great mahabaratan and the ramayana, its all about love. Read through the Bible, the sermon on the mount, Christ says "and now only three things are left, faith, hope and love, but the greatest of them all is love. This thing love must be very powerful. and so, in the name of love, a man will leave his father and mother, and a woman will leave her father and mother. The two shall become one...all in the name of love.
     Music has been sang all about love, all genres, bongo, reggae, ragga, dance hall, taarab, ohangla, mugithi...even the funda-mentos were realized because of love. love has been spoken everywhere. If still you think love doesn't exist, then I guess you must be from another planet. Love is as powerful as death, it bursts out into flames and burns with a ragging fire, water can never put it out nor even flood. Love is an affair of the heart, a mutual development between two willing souls that come together for a common goal. Love is a game of soccer, where before the last whistle blows you can never tell who the winner is. Love is a gamble, and one must know the rules of gambling before getting into the game. You must know when to fold up, know when to hold on, know when to walk away and know when when to run. Love is a race, you don't run fast, you will be trampled on and before you realize it, you will be nothing but broken eggs.
     All said and done, its better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. Love is the greatest commandment. Love God your God with all you might, strength.....and love your neighbor as you love yourselves. But just remember, love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 
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LOVE!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

FINALLY A FINALIST

The year started on a low note. Classes were quater to half full compared to second year where classes  were too full. The year would be a joy ride, we thought. Very few things were taken very seriously. I can't rember attending the first several classes, but in the end I acquired momentum.
I just want to recal afew things that traspired through the year. An encounter with the no nonsense, all or none theatre nurse call her madam Lilian. I remember her explaining the role of a scrub nurse..."The surgion told me hold here, I did. Then hold here, I did. Now with both hands I did the holding. Then he told me, give me a curved artery...seriously!!, am I an octopus??, I asked...prais the Lord"
Then came...the mental health nurse, Carpenito, Nanda, Author wa Manual, Nursing process, NCK Mwenyewe. I'll call her The lady in a pegiot. "Now this school is funny..do they know I'm not a renal nurse?, now give me three priority
Nursing diagnosis according to carpenito..." I wish I could use her voice tone to write this.
Then another mental health case, this guy should be in mathari. Should I call him Anto? Yes. This is the only guy who managed to teach 706, I mean seven hundred and six slides in one lecture, DSM4, DSM4-TR, DSM5, DSM.., ICD10. I guess he has Fucktitious disorder, F*** with an 'A' not a 'U' idiot or maybe he has trikisdecaphobia or maybe echolalia or I think he has no insight. But above all, he makes life very simple "....a good lady like Chege can't fail you. But  kwa medsurg, kuna ma sadists..."
Then here come Dr Bilasio..this guy has verbal diarrhoea plus circumstantiality and tangentiality. He teaches like Ten Teachers. His classes did not end untill they ended. "...you must be a profisient midwife. When you see any pervaginal bleeding, NO DIGITAL EXAM. Before I get far, I recall this new comer in the staffroom. I guess the anatomist who defined the gynaecoid pelvis used her as an example. She changed the mood in every obs class. I rember her saying that to much exercise can cause amenorrhea. I feel we should try that as method of family planning. 30 laps every morning, lunch time and evening, then you'll not need all these hormones in the name of contraceptives. That's my research topic next year. The year was full of drama each day. Ranging from signing for 8 lectures in one sitting, lecturers who could not speak but now they have pHDs to assignments that were never found in books nor google or wikipedia. Whether you went to class with bottoms up or in a bamako initiative, the comumity health lectures would not happen. Then came the ISO, this was the climax. Drama ensued afterwards and so much had to happen. Then letters were written and the boss herself had to come to class to cool the furnase. Before I leave the classroom comedy I cannot foget the rural folk, who came to teach but instead saw stars after an encounter with the lady in black. Then came this man who made me say "...please teacher may I go to the toilet" nkt nkt, by the way I didn't take that kindly. With all the pendagogy, he still aforded to give us 88 paged pdf that sent some of us into a vigil revision mode. Then came this Clinical psychologist...this man was just so amazing. Can't describe him much........ Whatch out for part two

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Thursday, 27 November 2014

YOU ARE NOT A MONK

This is the best story I've ever read..........
A man is driving down the road and
breaks down near a monastery. He goes
to the monastery, knocks on the door,
and says, “My car broke down.Do you
think I could stay the night?”The monks
graciously accept him, feed him dinner,
and even fix his car. As the man falls
asleep that night, he hears a strange
sound. The next morning, he asks the
monks what the sound was.”We can’t tell
you. You’re not a monk” they
respond.The man is disappointed but
thanks them anyway and continues on his
trip.Several years later the same man
breaks down in front of the same
monastery. The monks again accept him,
feed him, and even fix his car.That night,
he hears the same strange noise that he
had heard years earlier.The next morning
he again asks what it is, and again the
monks reply,”We can’t tell you. You’re
not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all
right.I’m dying to know. If the only way I
can find out the source of that sound is to
become a monk, tell me how do I
become amonk?” “You must travel the
earth and tell us how many blades of
grass there are and the exact number of
sand pebbles.When you find these
numbers, you will becom a monk,” they
reply. The man sets about his task.Many
years later he returns and knocks on the
door of the monastery. “I have traveled
the earth and have found what you asked
for. There are145,236,284,232 blades of
grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand
pebbles on the earth.””Congratulations!”
the monks reply. “You are now a monk.
We will now show you the way to the
sound.”The monks proceed to lead the
man to a wooden door, where the
headmonk says, “The sound is behind that
door.”The man reaches for the knob, but
cannot open it because the door is
locked.”Really funny,” he says,”May I
have the key please?”The monks give him
the key and he opens the door. Behind
the wooden door is another door made of
stone. The monks give him the key to this
door too, and he opens it-only to find a
door made of ruby. He asks for,and
receives another key from the monks.
But behind that door is another door, this
one made of sapphire. On and on this
went until the man had gone through
doors of emerald, silver, topaz,and
amethyst. Finally the man is relieved to
hear the monks say, “This is the last key
to the last door.”He unlocks the door,
turns the knob, and behind that door he is
amazed to find the source of that strange
sound.
But I can’t tell you what it is because
you’re not a monk.