crystal tears
Tuesday 26 July 2016
THE ARSON
Sunday 28 February 2016
A LETTER TO MY FUTURE WIFE
The Lord has given me the key to unlock the unseen and the tips to understand the meaning of this life I'm living, this hill I'm climbing and this weight I'm lifting. The way is so rough and the path is so dusty, but I will nor give up.
Meanwhile leave that aside. It is just another one of those days when I have to stand on the bridge of emotions and dive into the sea of solitude. I move close towards a table in my room, a specious and comfortable room, but it gets claustrophobic whenever I think of you. I pull a chair away, sit, then I stare at space thinking about you, the most beautiful and perfect gift for me.
Then I take my time to let my pen dance on paper and later on engage my mind in the task of memorizing each and every line hoping that somehow, someday, these words will reach your ears.
I know I'm writing to someone I have not met, but I'm sure I've met you several times in my dreams and all the times that I lay brick after brick building castles in the air.
I'm writing to you my love, my future wife, my missing rib that I'm in the maze running up and down trying to find the lady that my Daddy, my Creator has destined to be my partner.
Where are you? I've been up and down trying to find you. Can't you see my dusty feet? Can't you note the smell of my sweat?
I belief you must be hiding somewhere safe, I guess you are hidden in Christ.
I just want you to know and embrace the fact that I am out here keeping my self pure for you dear, working twice as hard as the ants to add value to my life so that you will always jerk your head up to stop your beautiful hair from blocking your sight and then brag to your friends of how great your husband is.
I also want you to know baby, that I am in safe hands, I've surrounded myself with a group of spiritual mentors that God uses to prepare me for you.
I don't know where you are, I don't know what you are doing, but I know that I want you to know that I'm praying for you. It's been a routine now, everyday I humble myself before God, asking him to bless you wherever you are.
I pray you be my Proverbs 31 woman and make the man in me rise above the stars. My Esther, to be the queen of my world and save my generation from forceful oppression. My Elizabeth, to carry the promise that will prepare the way for the success of my life. My Rehab, who risked her life to hide the spies sent to Jericho by Joshua, sweetheart, I know you will risk your life for me.
I love you, trust me I do even if I know you not. But I know that I love what God has prepared for me for He says He has good plans for me, plans to prosper me and never to destroy me.
So many challenges pop up on my way to meeting you, so many distractions by the devil who is trying to make me stop waiting for God to bring us together.
So many girls, half naked even when the weather is ice cold, how I pray that pneumonia should fall heavily on them. They aim to attract my eyes and then distract my mind and rob me of the beauty of having you princess.
I understand that I have to remain true to the word of God and I thank him coz so far so good I have been able to flash a red card to all their dirty schemes.
I will wait for you and I make a plea to you my lady, hold on and wait for me too.
I dream of how we will sing and then I will blink as you wink when we go shopping for rings.
You have even made me to go ahead and define the word love, letter 'L' stands for the Length of time I will think of you, it will stretch from the east to the west. Letter 'O' stands for the Oasis of love in the desert of apathy, an oasis that holds trust and care where my love for you will grow. Letter 'V' stands for the Velvet curtain that I will draw each morning to invite the rays of love into our home. And letter 'E' stands for the endless memories we will make out of lives starting from the time we walk down the isle as we say "I DO".
Every morning I stand in the shower in front of my bathroom mirror and use my index finger to write on the mirror the words, I Hope I will Meet You Soon....
Yours in Love
Ouko Jnr
Friday 5 February 2016
REALTY CHECK
Forget the mail. I take a flash back at my life as a comrade, an not just a comrade by a bone-fide' comrade of THE University of Nairobi (note the article 'THE'). Its the only university where a comrade is always right, and if he/she is wrong, then it can only be under the influence of some super natural power other than the Holy Spirit. During my life in the UoN, electricity, water and DSTV services were not privileges but demands. It is during this time that I realized that power faults or transformer break downs can actually be fixed in ten minutes instead of ten days as I see in the estates. Burst water pipes can actually be fixed in 10 minutes and opposed to 10 weeks as I seen in the estates. It was actually an abomination for the management to fail to pay for the DSTV subscription before the weekends set in because it was compulsory for comrades to watch the English premier league, in short, comrades must enjoy. What a pity for the custodian on duty over the weekend if the match cannot be watch from the TV room. Demonstrations and riots were no longer news to me, in fact I enjoyed them so much. I learned that Uhuru Highway was actually built on the lands of the comrades and the University Way is only meant for the comrades and cars are actually suppose to stop and wait for comrades to cross. It is funny to know that the University way actually has no zebra crossings because comrades are allowed to cross at any point. Life was awesome. We cooked with the coil, despite the bold rule that cooking is not allowed in the university hostels.We were taken to class with the school bus, a bus that must be there on time or else, the entire management will have to answer questions. We demanded quality food in the Mess, and we would not go for anything less. In short, everything was served on demand.
The campus life suddenly came to an end and now I have to suffer the withdrawal symptoms. I tried cooking with the coil in my new house, that is when I knew 'okoa stima' and 'okoa jahazi' are actually sisters. When I cross the road I actually have to look left and right and left again then cross. I'm actually suppose to pay for DSTV and I can not watch the Man United game when I feel like. Here there is no wifi, I have to buy bundles, haki wale watu wa Bundles Mwitu wako wapi? I can no longer shout or run around when there is a black out, Kenya power will bring back power when they want to. I am actually suppose to pay bus fare everyday when going to work and back. I finally realized that the "L" in HELB actually represents a Loan and I am suppose to pay it back. I realizes that I was an Investment of the society and now its time for me to start giving back to the same society, a society that I never saw paying my school fees, a society that I never saw when I was almost dying from hunger in campus, a society that never new that I actually depended on 10 shillings a day in campus, yes a society that now demands that I give back what it gave to me. But I have to give back in the the end. Yes, I am now in the society, REALITY FINALLY CHECKS IN.
Monday 16 November 2015
Shedding the Crystal Tears
Tuesday 10 February 2015
FEBRUARY....THE MONTH OF LOVE
Love is a long story, but its after I loved and lost that that I learnt to respect the strength of a woman. King Edward of the Khoi-san kingdom gave up his kingdom in Cape Town during the colonial times and walked on foot up to Alexandria in Egypt all in the name of love.William Shakespeare lived all his life by just writing about this thing love. Samson Manoa, the strongest man to have ever existed was brought down by a woman all because of love. David the son of Jesse, the forefather of Jesus Christ, a King of Israel-a God chosen nation, a man after God's own heart (so says Paul in The Acts of Apostles), was brought down by a woman, all in the name of love.
What is love, I ask? Read through the Muslim Quaran, there are 15 suras that speak about this love (hubb-7 times, mawadda-5 times and interpretive inserts-3 times). In the Hindu Gittur, read through the dramatization of the great mahabaratan and the ramayana, its all about love. Read through the Bible, the sermon on the mount, Christ says "and now only three things are left, faith, hope and love, but the greatest of them all is love. This thing love must be very powerful. and so, in the name of love, a man will leave his father and mother, and a woman will leave her father and mother. The two shall become one...all in the name of love.
Music has been sang all about love, all genres, bongo, reggae, ragga, dance hall, taarab, ohangla, mugithi...even the funda-mentos were realized because of love. love has been spoken everywhere. If still you think love doesn't exist, then I guess you must be from another planet. Love is as powerful as death, it bursts out into flames and burns with a ragging fire, water can never put it out nor even flood. Love is an affair of the heart, a mutual development between two willing souls that come together for a common goal. Love is a game of soccer, where before the last whistle blows you can never tell who the winner is. Love is a gamble, and one must know the rules of gambling before getting into the game. You must know when to fold up, know when to hold on, know when to walk away and know when when to run. Love is a race, you don't run fast, you will be trampled on and before you realize it, you will be nothing but broken eggs.
All said and done, its better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. Love is the greatest commandment. Love God your God with all you might, strength.....and love your neighbor as you love yourselves. But just remember, love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
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LOVE!!!!!!!!
Tuesday 9 December 2014
FINALLY A FINALIST
The year started on a low note. Classes were quater to half full compared to second year where classes were too full. The year would be a joy ride, we thought. Very few things were taken very seriously. I can't rember attending the first several classes, but in the end I acquired momentum.
I just want to recal afew things that traspired through the year. An encounter with the no nonsense, all or none theatre nurse call her madam Lilian. I remember her explaining the role of a scrub nurse..."The surgion told me hold here, I did. Then hold here, I did. Now with both hands I did the holding. Then he told me, give me a curved artery...seriously!!, am I an octopus??, I asked...prais the Lord"
Then came...the mental health nurse, Carpenito, Nanda, Author wa Manual, Nursing process, NCK Mwenyewe. I'll call her The lady in a pegiot. "Now this school is funny..do they know I'm not a renal nurse?, now give me three priority
Nursing diagnosis according to carpenito..." I wish I could use her voice tone to write this.
Then another mental health case, this guy should be in mathari. Should I call him Anto? Yes. This is the only guy who managed to teach 706, I mean seven hundred and six slides in one lecture, DSM4, DSM4-TR, DSM5, DSM.., ICD10. I guess he has Fucktitious disorder, F*** with an 'A' not a 'U' idiot or maybe he has trikisdecaphobia or maybe echolalia or I think he has no insight. But above all, he makes life very simple "....a good lady like Chege can't fail you. But kwa medsurg, kuna ma sadists..."
Then here come Dr Bilasio..this guy has verbal diarrhoea plus circumstantiality and tangentiality. He teaches like Ten Teachers. His classes did not end untill they ended. "...you must be a profisient midwife. When you see any pervaginal bleeding, NO DIGITAL EXAM.
Before I get far, I recall this new comer in the staffroom. I guess the anatomist who defined the gynaecoid pelvis used her as an example. She changed the mood in every obs class. I rember her saying that to much exercise can cause amenorrhea. I feel we should try that as method of family planning. 30 laps every morning, lunch time and evening, then you'll not need all these hormones in the name of contraceptives. That's my research topic next year.
The year was full of drama each day. Ranging from signing for 8 lectures in one sitting, lecturers who could not speak but now they have pHDs to assignments that were never found in books nor google or wikipedia. Whether you went to class with bottoms up or in a bamako initiative, the comumity health lectures would not happen.
Then came the ISO, this was the climax. Drama ensued afterwards and so much had to happen. Then letters were written and the boss herself had to come to class to cool the furnase.
Before I leave the classroom comedy I cannot foget the rural folk, who came to teach but instead saw stars after an encounter with the lady in black. Then came this man who made me say "...please teacher may I go to the toilet" nkt nkt, by the way I didn't take that kindly. With all the pendagogy, he still aforded to give us 88 paged pdf that sent some of us into a vigil revision mode. Then came this Clinical psychologist...this man was just so amazing. Can't describe him much........
Whatch out for part two
Thursday 27 November 2014
YOU ARE NOT A MONK
This is the best story I've ever read..........
A man is driving down the road and
breaks down near a monastery. He goes
to the monastery, knocks on the door,
and says, “My car broke down.Do you
think I could stay the night?”The monks
graciously accept him, feed him dinner,
and even fix his car. As the man falls
asleep that night, he hears a strange
sound. The next morning, he asks the
monks what the sound was.”We can’t tell
you. You’re not a monk” they
respond.The man is disappointed but
thanks them anyway and continues on his
trip.Several years later the same man
breaks down in front of the same
monastery. The monks again accept him,
feed him, and even fix his car.That night,
he hears the same strange noise that he
had heard years earlier.The next morning
he again asks what it is, and again the
monks reply,”We can’t tell you. You’re
not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all
right.I’m dying to know. If the only way I
can find out the source of that sound is to
become a monk, tell me how do I
become amonk?” “You must travel the
earth and tell us how many blades of
grass there are and the exact number of
sand pebbles.When you find these
numbers, you will becom a monk,” they
reply. The man sets about his task.Many
years later he returns and knocks on the
door of the monastery. “I have traveled
the earth and have found what you asked
for. There are145,236,284,232 blades of
grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand
pebbles on the earth.””Congratulations!”
the monks reply. “You are now a monk.
We will now show you the way to the
sound.”The monks proceed to lead the
man to a wooden door, where the
headmonk says, “The sound is behind that
door.”The man reaches for the knob, but
cannot open it because the door is
locked.”Really funny,” he says,”May I
have the key please?”The monks give him
the key and he opens the door. Behind
the wooden door is another door made of
stone. The monks give him the key to this
door too, and he opens it-only to find a
door made of ruby. He asks for,and
receives another key from the monks.
But behind that door is another door, this
one made of sapphire. On and on this
went until the man had gone through
doors of emerald, silver, topaz,and
amethyst. Finally the man is relieved to
hear the monks say, “This is the last key
to the last door.”He unlocks the door,
turns the knob, and behind that door he is
amazed to find the source of that strange
sound.
But I can’t tell you what it is because
you’re not a monk.